Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
