Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
