you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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