I met the friendliest cop last night
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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