Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?

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(817): I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf? http://tfl.nu/ht45

Replies (15) Good night (4082) Bad night (991)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook

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(614): I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook http://tfl.nu/v6tz

Replies (12) Good night (616) Bad night (3905)
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(409): View more from Texas

There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.

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(409): There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit. http://tfl.nu/49qn

Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (2549)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.

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(412): She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing. http://tfl.nu/dwve

Replies (6) Good night (2286) Bad night (1576)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Green mimosas i think yes

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(502): Green mimosas i think yes http://tfl.nu/w98u

Replies (4) Good night (1539) Bad night (960)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.

(920): View more from Wisconsin

Tell me you're kidding.

(414): View more from Wisconsin

Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.

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(414): Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet. (920): Tell me you're kidding. (414): Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now. http://tfl.nu/mbei

Replies (8) Good night (829) Bad night (2789)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.

(1-802): View more from Vermont

I hope you fall on your chin.

(802): View more from Vermont

Jealousy makes you ugly.

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(802): I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore. (1-802): I hope you fall on your chin. (802): Jealousy makes you ugly. http://tfl.nu/isvw

Replies (14) Good night (2827) Bad night (1051)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers

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(647): I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers http://tfl.nu/b7h6

Replies (6) Good night (507) Bad night (947)
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(353): View more from

I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.

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(353): I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina. http://tfl.nu/ajvp

Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (448)
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(407): View more from Florida

don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.

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(407): don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens. http://tfl.nu/cd1z

Replies (8) Good night (1839) Bad night (550)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents

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(307): Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents http://tfl.nu/rmp2

Replies (4) Good night (581) Bad night (511)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.

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(215): I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward. (1-215): ... (215): I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure. http://tfl.nu/h70g

Replies (5) Good night (947) Bad night (378)
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(210): View more from Texas

Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....

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(210): Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers.... http://tfl.nu/sake

Replies (10) Good night (1360) Bad night (732)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right

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(306): Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right http://tfl.nu/4x80

Replies (0) Good night (394) Bad night (411)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.

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(615): It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes. http://tfl.nu/hojz

Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (304)

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