Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?

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  (314): rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places? http://tfl.nu/i464
  Replies (39) Good night (6203) Bad night (684)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap

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  (541): So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap http://tfl.nu/9u2o
  Replies (31) Good night (1034) Bad night (4404)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.

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  (216): My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand. http://tfl.nu/h0pi
  Replies (27) Good night (941) Bad night (5977)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?

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  (609): why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album? http://tfl.nu/4xxo
  Replies (28) Good night (916) Bad night (3584)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  all we need is a web designer

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  and a bunch of prostitutes

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  (973): all we need is a web designer (1-973): and a bunch of prostitutes http://tfl.nu/pfgf
  Replies (19) Good night (2475) Bad night (510)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am the king of creep.

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  (262): I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me". (262): I am the king of creep. http://tfl.nu/3401
  Replies (12) Good night (3361) Bad night (999)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.

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  (662): Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God. http://tfl.nu/m55y
  Replies (34) Good night (4026) Bad night (1998)
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  (315): View more from New York

  just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again

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  (315): just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again http://tfl.nu/dkz6
  Replies (15) Good night (1088) Bad night (3878)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?

  (954): View more from Florida

  Why wouldn't there be.

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  (704): Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower? (954): Why wouldn't there be. http://tfl.nu/wwnv
  Replies (28) Good night (7634) Bad night (791)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.

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  (419): fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back. http://tfl.nu/wq3e
  Replies (11) Good night (4598) Bad night (1886)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth

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  (303): That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ml2x
  Replies (7) Good night (1077) Bad night (3879)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars

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  (608): The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars http://tfl.nu/t0d7
  Replies (8) Good night (1009) Bad night (606)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?

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  (812): Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout? http://tfl.nu/r4f3
  Replies (9) Good night (386) Bad night (732)
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  (650): View more from California

  I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there

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  (650): I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there http://tfl.nu/bqch
  Replies (5) Good night (684) Bad night (293)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.

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  (306): just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute. http://tfl.nu/w8bj
  Replies (6) Good night (218) Bad night (627)

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