But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I smell stomach acid.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
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sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to