The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
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Can I color on your dick again?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
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Still dying that you shit outside
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.