do herpes really smell.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
