It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
