I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.