Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon

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  (845): Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon http://tfl.nu/pdkb
  Replies (16) Good night (740) Bad night (4995)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

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  (314): So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/yiuw
  Replies (16) Good night (1071) Bad night (3596)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them

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  (724): I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them http://tfl.nu/zqoq
  Replies (14) Good night (976) Bad night (3770)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.

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  (615): If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night. http://tfl.nu/85ri
  Replies (13) Good night (4303) Bad night (706)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.

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  (206): obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol. http://tfl.nu/y9qf
  Replies (6) Good night (3132) Bad night (930)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever

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  (503): There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever http://tfl.nu/502h
  Replies (3) Good night (3731) Bad night (1711)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.

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  (206): Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order. http://tfl.nu/s8w4
  Replies (4) Good night (3340) Bad night (1035)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night

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  (772): it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night http://tfl.nu/3jc9
  Replies (13) Good night (2529) Bad night (1961)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.

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  (717): Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection. http://tfl.nu/8fsy
  Replies (7) Good night (590) Bad night (1288)
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  (805): View more from California

  Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.

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  (805): Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life. http://tfl.nu/rnx1
  Replies (2) Good night (1443) Bad night (646)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".

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  (905): I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn". http://tfl.nu/2c8a
  Replies (6) Good night (2412) Bad night (810)
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  (353): View more from

  I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.

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  (353): I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina. http://tfl.nu/ajvp
  Replies (5) Good night (1425) Bad night (541)
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  (1616): View more from

  I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .

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  (1616): I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit . http://tfl.nu/6sx7
  Replies (8) Good night (628) Bad night (1122)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?

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  (609): LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER? http://tfl.nu/1zq3
  Replies (7) Good night (1202) Bad night (720)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  That's horrible but hilarious

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm going to miss college.

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  (407): Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else. (1-407): That's horrible but hilarious (407): I'm going to miss college. http://tfl.nu/1mp1
  Replies (4) Good night (607) Bad night (404)

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