I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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