Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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