4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
