no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
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I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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