yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
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