Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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