How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
