honey bunches of taint.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
