i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
