I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
