Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
