Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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