Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
