we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
