Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
