i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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