He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
