my being single is dangerous.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
