she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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