her vagine was all disorganized.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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