Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
