listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
