Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
