So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
