Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
