you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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