so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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