I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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