forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
