the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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