..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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