She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
