You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
