he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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