I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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