Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
