Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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