you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
