her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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