Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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