Nicole vs. Life
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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