I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize