Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
