Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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