last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
