I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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