Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Welp...herpes.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
