his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
