My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
