I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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