I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She needs sedatives and a leash
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
false alarm, still single
Randomize
