id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Quick, to the slutcave!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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