I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize