on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
