why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
