my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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