"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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