god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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