my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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