I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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