I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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