Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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