No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize